When the Kids Outgrow You… But Still Need You

Parenting adult children means offering more prayer than advice... and learning not to panic when they leave you on read.

I never thought I’d Google “how to use emojis properly in a text,” but here we are.

Parenting adult children is a strange and beautiful chapter. It’s not the diaper years or the teenage turbulence—it’s the delicate dance of stepping back while still being a steady presence. Mike and I raised two incredible kids. Amber, our firstborn, was a take-charge kind of girl with a tender heart—equal parts determined and compassionate. Five years later, Jordan arrived with a bang—strong-willed, adventurous, and ready to take life by the horns. From the beginning, they’ve each brought their own unique energy into our home, keeping us on our toes and on our knees in prayer.

Today, both are grown and married, and Amber has two children of her own. Watching her step into motherhood has been one of the most humbling and heartwarming gifts. Of course, it comes with a few “I told you so” moments I try very hard not to say out loud.

But can we talk about how parenting doesn’t actually end—it just changes costumes? Instead of being the human alarm clock, taxi driver, or snack dispenser, now I’m playing the role of silent prayer warrior, emotional support hotline, and occasional comic relief when I ask if TikTok is something you clean up with a paper towel.

It’s humbling, honestly. One moment you’re the queen of their universe, and the next you’re trying to figure out what “💀” means in a text (spoiler alert: it doesn’t mean someone died—it means “I’m dead from laughing”). I’ve learned to ask questions like, “Is this meme funny or offensive?” before forwarding it to the family group chat. This is growth, my friends, trust me.

And then there’s the art of letting go. This is the tough part. You want to protect them, advise them, sometimes even save them from themselves—but God’s been teaching me that my job now is to release with love, not control with worry. They may not always want my opinion, but they still want my support—and they need my prayers.

That’s why Mike and I pray together every evening for our kids—for their health, their marriages, their decisions, their future, and most importantly, for God’s saving grace to always cover them. It’s our nightly offering, our reminder that even though we’ve let go of their hands, we’re still holding them up in prayer.

Sometimes I miss the noise of our house when it was full of Nerf darts, teenage debates, and half-eaten Pop-Tarts. But now our home is filled with new kinds of joy: grandkids running through the living room, long talks over a cup of hot tea with adult children, and the quiet confidence that God is finishing what He started in them.

Proverbs 22:6 reminds us, “Train up a child in the way he should go…” but it doesn’t say when he’ll get there. We sow, we pray, and we trust. Even if they’re grown and gone, your role as a parent never really ends—it just deepens.

So, to every parent navigating this new season—don’t be discouraged. They may not need your advice every day, but they still need your presence, your grace, and your unconditional love. And every once in a while, they still need your zucchini bread recipe too.